1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
