Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
