Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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