talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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