dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
