Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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