sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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