There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
