shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
