I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
