Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You made out with two different species that night
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
