Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
