You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well I just put wine in my tea
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
