Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
