Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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