her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
