She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
