Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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