it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
