Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
