you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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