Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
