I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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