I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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