Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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