drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
