loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
