Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
