Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
