Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
