found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
