using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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