he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
