I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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