That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
