im having a threesome with these popsicles
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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