I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize