Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
