She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize