I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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