Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
