So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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