I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
