I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I am naked and annoyed.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
