M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
