Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Randomize
