so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
