There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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