so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize