Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I should be sponsored by Trojan
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
