Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
