apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
