Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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